Forgiveness

Jesus said in Luke 6:37 (KJV): "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:"

Forgiveness is letting go of everything that has held you back in the past, whether this be an injustice, a hurt, a period of bullying or abuse. When we forgive someone for past wrongs, we allow old hurts to lose their grip on us. If we don't forgive, old anger or resentment may keep us captive and tied to the hurt, like an innocent dove enmeshed in fine strands of ribbon unable to truly fly free. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. You cannot forget a child you have lost or an action taken towards you, as these become your memories. Memories will remain, but emotional pain dulls over time until we remember just the event without raw pain. Forgiveness is setting yourself free of a burden, as well as setting the people being forgiven free of their burdens.

Meaning of forgiveness

I have found that only when I experienced emotional healing on some level from some of life's past hurts could I begin to really understand what forgiveness meant. I believe forgiveness may comprise a process where we first make the decision to forgive, and then true emotional healing comes later as part of our journey. This process is explained by limbic lag (see more about limbic lag in blog article When fear gets in the way (part 1)). And only once limbic lag has completed the emotional healing process do we truly understand what true forgiveness is, and this is the same process that applies to changing when we internalise reasons for change and we understand this change on an emotional awareness level (discussed in blog article We only change when we understand why we should)

Do not wish murder on a murderer

Have you seen articles where someone is convicted of a crime, and then further down in the comments section many people call for the person to be hanged, or whipped or some other unspeakable action full of hate? This calls to mind the Bible verse Romans 2:1 (World English Bible): "Therefore you are without excuse, O man, whoever you are who judge. For in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself. For you who judge practice the same things." If we wish to murder someone who has murdered, will that not make us murderers too? Are we then any better than the one accused of the crime? His actions are detestable, but a wish for murder should never be condoned. There are transgressors that do not feel remorse, and forgiveness may have no real impact on them unless they become truly remorseful themselves, but by forgiving them we allow them the opportunity to change.

In conclusion

Just as we would want to be forgiven for things we do to others, we should allow others the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness does more for us than it does for our transgressors, in setting us free of the emotional burdens we carry. We forgive to avoid being trapped in a hurtful spiral of bitterness. We forgive for our own healing.