When Bystanders Look On

In writing about both bullying and genocide, I have noticed a pattern emerging and I see these as very similar behaviours, though bullying happens on a personal level, usually towards a specific individual, whereas genocide usually happens at a national level towards a specific target group of people, often organised by the ruling government of the time. I have also written about how similar workplace bullying is to cycles seen in domestic violence, so in the framework I mention below, much could be applied to domestic violence too, and bullying is a form of abuse.

Bullying is wrong but is easier for me to comprehend how this happens as compared to genocide. It astounds me that genocide is usually perpetrated by the leaders of a country, leaders who are meant to protect everyone and to have the interests of all citizens at heart.

What dynamics do these behaviours have in common? I thought they usually involve the following:

• A victim: the victim is the target of the abuse. Something about the victim makes the individual or the group a target, and this may be due to an unconscious reason, for example, perhaps the victim reminds the bully about someone from his or her past, or the bully holds a specific discrimination mindset. Related to this, have you noticed how people are quick to take advantage of perceived weakness in someone else, for example, if someone is sensitive about rejection, the person may often get rejected? This is an unconscious behaviour pattern at work, almost a spiritual level dynamic, as if a cruelty streak were hardwired in.
• An abuser: this is the bully, who may be an individual or who may be a group of people, as in the case of genocide. Something about the target stands out for the bully, enough to make the bully want to domineer and control the target, or exact vengeance. I sometimes wonder if a bully knows that he or she is perceived as the bully and might instead say he or she is acting in self defence. I believe a bully may feel quite justified in the behaviour he or she displays towards a target. For example, the manager who never invites a staff member to attend meetings may feel the staff member will disrupt the meetings and is doing it for the person's own good as well as the good of the department.
• The situation: This is the abusive situation victims find themselves in, often a very precarious position for the victim to be in. Victims usually suffer torment, which is a form of psychological torture. Often they may question what is actually happening as a victim may suspect he or she is a target of bullying or discrimination, but it is often very difficult to prove this and to conclusively show and name the behaviour. The victim may not even know who the bully is, for example, in a case where malicious gossip is being spread. Usually people approached for help do not believe the allegations. Victims are often told to keep a record of bullying behaviour, as bullying is often seen by the ongoing pattern that occurs. How does one prove that a nation is in the early stages of genocide when the only evidence is seemingly random murders, mayhap statistically leaning towards a certain sector of the population?
• A motive: at the heart of any bullying situation, including the extreme form leading towards genocide, is the need to assert power over a victim, perhaps to get a kick out of seeing the victim conflicted at why he or she is being treated badly, and often an unconscious agenda driving the bully's fear and hatred of the target, which may sometimes even be because the bully feels threatened by a victim's competence. I see at least two possible motives for bullying to occur, one being a malicious intent to exert control and to play a cat and mouse type game, and another where the motive is purer, and where the bully is acting almost in self defence. In this case, the bully may see the target as being someone to be careful of and may see the target as being the real bully. This of course could be defense mechanisms at work on the part of both parties, perhaps stemming from a misunderstanding of heart. If we know someone has at heart a good motive, most behaviour from that person which seems to be bullying behaviour or deviant behaviour can instead be seen as misplaced defensive behaviour. A simple example may be a huge dog who snaps at anyone who comes close, yet the dog is remembering many unjust beatings earned over a lifetime of pain and trusts no-one.
• A differential power base: often a bully has more power than the victim, be this authority the bully has over the victim, like a manager in an office environment, or leaders in government, in the case of the planned genocide of a section of the civilian population. Targets fear once a bullying situation is known, for their jobs, for their safety, for their sanity. If a person discovers that a superior person, someone in authority, does not have the target's best interests at heart, the target is justly worried about the consequences of having an ongoing relationship with the superior. Outsiders usually trust the opinion of the superior, who is seen as the expert, and the superior holds enormous differential power.
• The victim may appear to be the bully: where a skewed picture is being painted of a  victim, the victim often has some form of behaviour which could be said to lend truth to any allegations to onlookers. Bullies may play their victims quietly and manipulatively and engineer situations so that the victim appears to be the one at fault, for example, a victim might be a person who is touchy about certain subjects, and who gets righteously angry when these are mentioned in meetings. A victim may voice harsh anger and criticism towards an unjust situation instead of keeping quiet, though may not realise the full picture himself or herself. If you are told someone is sly and untrustworthy, for example, as in the case of stereotypes, you may avoid the person and not trust a word he or she says, and the victim may begin to act in an untrustworthy manner as he or she becomes defensive, and anything the victim then does may lend credibility to the allegation, and this is the unfortunate consequence of labels, which become a self fullfilling prophecy. The best strategy for a victim to take is to remain calm and to act at all times with integrity, or the bully's lies may unfortunately be believed.
• Victims may be blamed: victims may be blamed as the ones who are to blame for the abuse they receive, be this due to their character, or behaviour, or some other quality they possess. Bullies are often very charismatic people, who others like, and it is hard to believe the bully is the one at fault. Perhaps we also cannot believe someone would vindictively hurt another without having a justifiable reason for doing so.
• Mobbing behaviour: unfortunately, bullies usually enlist help or get help from others. If someone in authority treats someone else badly, unfortunately the authority figure's example may be followed. Think of the extreme example of genocide, where many people in a nation will carry out mass murders, as happened during the Jewish Holocaust, from the military through to civilians, all joining in to eradicate marked targets who are seen as a threat.
• Bystanders who turn a blind eye: in situations of bullying and genocide, many will not take part in the abuse themselves, but will also not help the targets any way. Bystanders will see what is happening, yet will ignore the situation either consciously or unconsciously. If you help a target, this may make you a target too, but if everyone looks the other way, evil will flourish.
• Lack of protection: bullying is done in secret and is very difficult to prove, and, even if a protective framework exists, victims may be reluctant to press charges, as they might not be believed and the situation may intensify thereafter.
• Escalating levels of abuse:if a bully targets a victim and if nothing happens to the bully, the bully will abuse again. As time goes on, the bully also needs to escalate the abuse to continue to obtain satisfaction, as he or she may become bored with the same routine. There is a great deal of emotion wrapped up in a bullying situation, especially if a bully hates the target, and the bully may try harder and harder to put one over the target, especially when trying to eradicate the target (see point below). This may be the bully's downfall, as the bully has to remember a complex set of behaviour patterns and perhaps lies told about the victim. A bully may target victims for years without being caught out, but someday, hopefully, the bully's ways will come to light, though many victims may fall by the wayside during this time.
• Eradication: the target will be eliminated when the target is a real threat to the bully, for example, a bully will move to more heavily discredit the victim if there is the possible  threat of the bully's tactics being found out, or in the case of the mass murders that occur in genocide, perhaps this happens when there is a threat, perceived or real, that the targets will start to hold the upper hand. Once the target is eliminated, the bully will usually move on to the next target and so the cycle of abuse begins anew.

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:13 KJV