Link to previous blog article: Underhanded Tactics (Part 1: Diverting Attention)
Imagine the following scenario: From a distance you hear a person ranting in anger in a shopping centre, and when you get closer you see it is a female customer trying to hit a salesperson over the head with her large soft handbag and she is screaming at him to watch his mouth. Next you know, the woman is surrounded by security guards and is escorted away, still shouting. What you might not have seen is the salesperson make an initial few disparaging remarks to the customer, telling her that maybe she shouldn't buy clothing she is too fat to wear and then she wouldn't need to return it. You don't know the salesperson said this very quietly to the woman, with a polite grin, knowing his actions were being recorded. The female customer saw red as the comments pushed her hot buttons and she flew into a fit of temper and the salesperson then called security, saying he feared for his safety.
Imagine the following scenario: From a distance you hear a person ranting in anger in a shopping centre, and when you get closer you see it is a female customer trying to hit a salesperson over the head with her large soft handbag and she is screaming at him to watch his mouth. Next you know, the woman is surrounded by security guards and is escorted away, still shouting. What you might not have seen is the salesperson make an initial few disparaging remarks to the customer, telling her that maybe she shouldn't buy clothing she is too fat to wear and then she wouldn't need to return it. You don't know the salesperson said this very quietly to the woman, with a polite grin, knowing his actions were being recorded. The female customer saw red as the comments pushed her hot buttons and she flew into a fit of temper and the salesperson then called security, saying he feared for his safety.
Bullies may use quiet means to egg a victim on,
and then they sit back and watch their victim explode, which may only
happen after months of bullying. Sometimes of course a person is not intentionally a bully towards someone, it is just a
complex set of personal dynamics which unravels and creates situations
where a person may react in excess to what they see as inciting behaviour; maybe a
person has a hot button due to previous trauma.
The lesson of course is not to allow temper to get the better of one. If you are angry and out of control, people don't say, oh dear, what did the person say to you to make you so angry, they see someone raging in anger and that is the only problem for them. You may one day find yourself physically manhandled, or sexually assaulted, or verbally incited, but if you react badly, you will be the one at fault and may give impetus to any allegations against you and you may then be seen as the bully. Don't ever react in a way which will make you a target, for example, if someone manhandles you, don't call the person bad names or hit them or scream at them or make a racist comment against them. This does not help your cause. Remain calm and speak your truth quietly and clearly. Jesus said to turn the other cheek and to bless our enemies, and His advice will go a long way to defusing a problem situation.
Link to next blog article: Underhanded Tactics (Part 3: The Waiting List)
Link to next blog article: Underhanded Tactics (Part 3: The Waiting List)
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