A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Thursday 17 October 2013

Assertiveness: The Ability to Say "No"

Do you struggle to say "No"? I thought I was okay with turning requests down, until I volunteered to help out with an event. Well, actually what happened is that I went to an information desk to find out if I needed to book to attend a free music concert. The person thought I was there to find out about volunteering for the event, because people were told to go to the desk to put their names down, and she began rummaging around looking for a piece of paper so I could give her my details. So there I was, only thoughts of attending on my mind and then I ending up feeling obliged to put my name down as a volunteer. What would the woman in front of me think if I said "No, I only want to attend"? I thought. Would this seem extremely selfish of me? I had come to the information desk's attention and I was no longer just one of the crowd of event goers, I was a potential helper. So I smiled nervously and gave her my details. I said I'd be an usher. I hoped they had ushering available. I was sure this would be an easy task to do, because I really wanted to see the event too. Then someone phoned me and said would I stay to clean up afterwards, and I said, "No", quite legitimately, because I said I had children I would need to get home to. "Oh, would you help out with the kid's program on the night?" she asked. "Would I still see the concert?", I said. "No, only the kid's concert", she replied. Well, I do have children, I thought--though I had been thinking of leaving them at home on the night--and I could then bring them with me and watch over them. "Okay" I said. I put the phone down.

How did I go from merely wanting to find out if I needed to book a ticket to a free music event to missing the concert totally? I felt manipulated by the phone calls and the outcome, but I did it all to myself! I phoned back and said, "I don't want to miss the main concert". The person was quite understanding and took my name off the kid's concert roster and said she'd get someone to phone me back with something else to do so I wouldn't miss seeing the concert. Now I'm not sure what I will be given to do. When someone phones me back, if they do, I have resolved to say, "I have changed my mind. I don't want to be a volunteer." I hope no-one phones me.

How much easier things would have been if I had just said, "No", when I was first misunderstood.

Link to related blog article

Leadership / Life Skills Series: Assertiveness

No comments:

Post a Comment